Having the biggest day of your life or the biggest life from your day

They say the biggest day of a womens life is her wedding day; I beg to differ.

Blood, Sweat and tears we give for that perfect day. We fantasize and plan our weddings to the T, the wedding date, find and/or purchase their wedding dress, the color scheme, the ring, the location and even what the groom will be wearing followed by the honeymoon. All of this is planned prior to being engaged and/or even dating their future husband. The plan is so perfectly planned except for one thing, what happens when the man comes along and he doesn’t fit the tux you picked out and he doesn’t want the big wedding and honeymoon? What happens when he wants to elope, save the money and begin his life with you? Do you go with it or force your preplanned wedding and marriage on him?

I ask this question because I don’t think a lot of people realize that marriage is hard work. It takes a conscious daily effort. This person is really the only person that can hurt your heart and soul. This person becomes closer to you then the people in the home you grew up in. He has become your immediate family and you are now responsible for the smiles, laughter and tears. The real wedding (celebration) of the marriage comes after you say I do. After he has picked you up when you fall, after he has wiped your tears and put a smile on your face. After he has stood for you now and asked questions later. The real wedding and celebration comes after you comfort and encourage him when the world has been harsh.

It’s ok to dream and plan, just know where and when the real work begins. Marriage can be the best thing, as long as you put forth 100 times more focus, effort, consideration and determination into the marriage after you say I do.

Is that a man?

What is your definition of a man? What does he look like? What type of character does he have? What is his value and belief system? What boundaries does he have? How does he live his life? So many women say they want a real man, or they are waiting for a real man, but I wonder do they know one when they see one.

The dictionary defines a man as an adult male person, as distinguished from a boy or a woman; a human individual as representing the species, a husband, a male lover or sweetheart, to act in a typically masculine way, as in taking responsibility or making tough decisions.

 The bible reads that a man’s complex nature is composed of two elements, body and soul or in “1 Thess. 5:23”, spirit and soul. The soul is the rationale and the spirit is considered the vital principle of the body. 

A man is not something that can be claimed because of the hair on his chest, or how deep his voice is. A man is the essence of a magnificent being, he is rigid and flexible. He can rule without an iron fist, and calm an upset amongst his loved ones. He protects and serves when applicable and he never abuses his power, or demeans his lover. A man is respectful and accepts nothing less for his woman. He is proud but not foolish, he is patient yet persistent and he keeps his word.

Before you begin to date ask yourself the first question above, what is your definition of a man and if you truly desire a real man? Take a look at some of the characteristics that should be present in a man:

ü  He must love the Lord and have or be seeking a better relationship with the Lord

ü  He must live with a purpose and have a direction in which he is seeking; he has a plan for his future (if he doesn’t see a future for his self how does that help you?).

ü  He must have a job- a man does not want to be a burden, men are naturally hunters and providers (GR doesn’t count)

ü  He must not live with his mother, auntie or cousin

ü  He is not an abuser of any kind (verbal, physical, emotional)

ü  He is dependable and his priorities are in tact

ü  He is not a dead beat dad