lovinblacklove: What's the standard?

lovinblacklove: What's the standard?: If you could date yourself, how would the night go? Would you call yourself days in advance at a reasonable hour to schedule the date? W...

lovinblacklove: The Hunt

lovinblacklove: The Hunt: Remember way back when, when girls couldn’t knock on a boys door or call them, the boys had to come to the door and respectfully request to ...

The Hunt

Remember way back when, when girls couldn’t knock on a boys door or call them, the boys had to come to the door and respectfully request to see the girl. The boy also had to call her; there was no stalking from the girl or manic texting. Some things should still be in practice. It is in the nature of the male species to hunt and somehow we have taken that away and made it too easy for men. Don’t get me wrong; I am all for going after what you want, because things have changed. It is possible to give the ok signal to the man, even approach in today’s time and then retreat and let them begin the hunt. If you do everything for him, why would he find it special? Why would he appreciate you? Even more, if you do everything in the beginning, you will be doing everything throughout the entire relationship and you will be cheated. Don’t give too much too soon, ladies even as a married woman he likes the hunt every now and then.

What's the standard?

If you could date yourself, how would the night go?

Would you call yourself days in advance at a reasonable hour to schedule the date?

Would you make reservations at a nice restaurant?

Would you call yourself and confirm the date is still on the night before the date?

Would you show up on time and knock on your door to escort yourself to the car?

Would you compliment yourself on how nice you look?

Would you open the car door for yourself?

Would you have a normal first time conversation that does not include sex?

Would you pay for the meal?

At the end of the night would you walk yourself to the door to say goodnight?

How many women have really dated, not kicked it…..dated?

Husband or Homie Lover Friend

As women we set the tone in every relationship we have. We decide whether we have a Husband or Homie Lover Friend. Ladies, don’t sell yourself cheap. With a Homie Lover Friend you are allowing someone to use or borrow your goods, until they find the person they really want to love, honor, respect for better or worse. With a potential husband, he is working hard to please you, to show you the best part of him so that you know without a shadow of a doubt he values you and wants to make you his wife.

When you meet someone, be certain of what you desire. Don’t say one thing and do something different. Don’t sleep with him on the first date, the first month or fifth month. A potential husband should have to wait at least six months. You have to give him a chance to fall in love with everything you are. Men do not cherish or handle with care anything they don’t have to work hard for. You need that time to get to know him as well. You need to witness his day to day life, how he treats his mother or female family members in his life. Is there baby mama drama? Is he respectful of you? Is he controlling? Does he not stand up for himself or you? Is his mother obsessed and out of line in his life? These are just some of the things you need to know.

Don’t let his looks, cars, income or package cloud your judgment. I realize it can be hard to say no, or stand your ground and that’s why I say to know what you want first. If you are having fun and that’s it, great! If you are ready to settle down, you have to be smart and send the right messages. Oh, and don’t get discouraged with all of the junky men that may come your way, they are just a test.

Talk to your man

We have heard for years and years that men and women communicate in two totally different ways. Ladies, take a minute and talk to your man. I direct this primarily to you married women, because so many times we get caught up in the day to day routine that we forget to talk to our husbands in their language.

Cook your man his favorite dinner (food); Serve it to him in a lounge outfit you know he likes. If you have kids think of something he likes to see you in that talks to him (undercover). Make sure your hair isn't wrapped or all over your head. When you speak to him, speak in a softer tone than usual, a tone he associates intimacy with. Sit next to him while he is watching television (it doesn't matter if you like the show or not). Ask him of his day, and give him an encouraging word. Ladies, men need to feel that you care without pressure and direction. While he is talking to you, make some type of physical connection with him. This connection can be holding hands, your feet touching, your legs or head resting on him, whatever you choose.
You have now set the tone for whatever you like or desire for the week. He will go to work with you on your mind.

Don't Settle

Do you know that what you settle for now is what you will be living and dealing with later? It is so important that when we are dating, that we are dating for the right reasons and dating the person most qualified. If you desire to marry, you should only be dating marriage material. If you are just having fun and you do not desire a long term or serious relationship, then by all means have fun.

Laws to Live By

Choose a man that puts you second only to God. Choose a man that is mindful of the words he speaks to you, not to offend, hurt or crush you. Choose the man that will protect you when in danger and give you his shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen when in need.  Choose a man that celebrates you and your accomplishments, there should never be competition. Choose a man you can trust and choose a man you can grow with.

So many times we allow the wrong man to choose us, instead of us choosing the right man. If you have children and you are choosing a school or day care for them, you look at the school curriculum, culture, location, as well as many other things to see if it is appropriate, safe and convenient for your child and your life style. You are entrusting the most important person in your life to that school, so it must be right. This is the same effort and guide that must be used in choosing your mate.